If you’re a business to business company, you’re likely doing networking to market your business. You’re also likely encountering the challenge of measuring its cost against benefit. Whether it’s generating leads, cultivating existing relationships, conversation, or free food and beer that you seek, you know you can make business networking work better for you. How can you make your networking more effective and meaningful?
If these tips seem like different faces of the same coin, it’s because they are. I argue that to make your networking effective and meaningful, you must step out of your comfort zone, take a break from talking to like-minded people, visiting with your tribe, and preaching to the choir.
Seek like-valued people
A long-ago comment by Travis Huntingon still sits with me: “I seek like-valued, not like-minded people.” According to my dictionary, like-minded means “having the same tastes, opinions, etc.” Talking with people who hold the same opinions as you do will feel good, but will it be a fruitful discussion? Innovation or great narratives emerge from conflict.
In addition, as an article in the recent issue of The New Yorker points out, people have the “tendency to become more extreme after speaking with like-minded others”, a phenomenon labeled “group polarization”. Even though you know you’re right, becoming more extreme in your opinion is probably not the networking outcome you seek.
Like-valuedness opens a much broader and deeper space for positive interaction, constructive debate, and exciting opportunities. Whereas like minds are a room, like values are a hub. To find like-valued people, venture beyond your usual networking hangout spots.
Find another tribe
Rich Bruer and I recently commiserated about networking events here in Portland, Oregon. We agreed that attending events people like us attend can yield few business leads. Rich had concluded that frequenting sustainability-related events is like visiting with his tribe, so he must find another tribe.
A variation on the search for like-valued people, finding another tribe entails an exploration of even farther networks, perhaps ones where your values may be complementary, alternative, or foreign. All it takes is asking one person from outside your tribe for an introduction to hers.
Preach to a new choir
After the Beyond2020 sustainability unconference, Lisa Sloan pointed out that while the presentations and discussions had been excellent, they felt like preaching to the choir. Talking about sustainability to people who are already on board with sustainability can, indeed, resemble an echo chamber. Take your values and opinions about sustainability to a different tribe and you’ll be spreading your gospel to the unconverted. And converting the unconverted is what sustainability (or any other movement) needs to truly tip.
Accumulate bridging capital
In Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam distinguished between bonding and bridging social capital. Bonding social capital may be more inward-looking, have a tendency to reinforce exclusive identities and homogeneous groups, and mobilize solidarity. Bridging social capital may be more outward-looking, inclusively encompass diverse people, link to external assets and information, and generate broader identities and reciprocity. “Bonding social capital constitutes a kind of sociological superglue, whereas bridging social capital provides a sociological WD-40.”
All of which is to say, networking with the like-minded, with your tribe, or with the choir builds bonding social capital. To get more out of your networking and build a stronger community in the process, you need to build bridging social capital. Somewhat counter-intuitively, it’s your acquaintances, not friends, that will be most beneficial to you and to whom you will be likewise.
Bonus tip: Shut up, or Ask the right question
The only time I got stunned at a networking interaction was when the conversation partner asked, “What’s your story?” Accustomed to the usual – and trite – variations of What do you do?, being asked about my story threw me off. From that point on, I had the best conversation – probably because I did most of the talking.
Ask the right question, get the other person talking, and she’ll remember you for the best conversationalist. And getting remembered is what networking is, in great part, about, isn’t it?
I aim to apply these tips myself, which is not that easy, and look forward to sharing my findings. I’m open to pointers to networking groups or events in or around Portland, Oregon – hope to see you there! In the meantime, please 1) share your experiences in Comments and 2) forward a link to this blog to a fellow business leader.
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Image credit: Nimages DR
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Excellent points Peter. I agree that effective networking will take you beyond your comfort zone. I know I’m having to push myself and my colleagues to swim with bigger fish. Bigger fish demand more, pay better and pose bigger challenges.
Great thoughts Peter! Any tips for someone like me who finds networking in general to be a stretch outside of my comfort zone?
@Natalie: As a general rule, just do it. The more you get out there and stretch your comfort zone, the bigger the comfort zone gets. It’s just a matter of practice, as with everything.
Start with groups you’re familiar with, or events where you know someone who can make introductions for you. Going to a networking event with a friend or colleague is also helpful. Hanging out around the refreshments provides for a good context to break the ice. Another helpful tactic is to show up way early, stand by the entrance, and meet/greet every attendee. By the time the event gets going you will have figuratively and literally touched everyone.
Above all, have an objective and target audience in mind to stay focused.